You had a GREAT date with a potential prospect and you were already planning the next one in your mind,
But now you are realizing that he ghosted you.
Confusing, Hein?
I feel you, and you are certainly not the first or only one whose date has ghosted her after a great date.
Even Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, was reportedly ghosted by someone she was seeing just before meeting Prince Harry.
It just has become the law of the land, as someone by the name of Halafax said on thoughtcatalog.
Ghosting after a great date is a bit different than ghosting in general.
It is driven by different motives than someone who you have been seeing for some time.
If you want to learn more about why men ghost in general (maybe a few weeks or months into the dating process), you can check out my other post where I went over the 5 reasons why a man would ghost you.
In this post though, I will focus on the very specific case of ghosting after a great date, which in my humble opinion, has 2 very specific reasons.
Why did he ghost you?
Let’s first get this one out of the way, he ghosted you because he was not into you enough to consider seeing you again,
…and it’s just easier to disappear than to text you or tell you face to face.
Some people consider that they don’t even owe you an explanation because you are no one to them.
You just met once or twice.
Some really lack the courage ( it’s not that easy to look someone in the eye and tell them something which suggests they are not good enough).
Some would want to keep their options open…you know just in case.
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It can be worse
Trust me sometimes it can be worst.
I had a friend of mine whose date went so well that she received a text from the guy the next day kindly asking her to refund him half of the bill because he wasn’t into her.
Why did you have a great date?
As I said before, ghosting after a great date can come as a result of two things only:
#1. He knew he was not into you while still on the date with you
I have seen, heard, and read enough about men to know they are very quick to assess whether they like you or not.
A 15 min conversation can do It sometimes.
But what tends to happen is that, as soon as a man has concluded he is not into you, he’ll turn the whole situation around in his mind into a friendly encounter, while acting like he really likes how it is going.
He will continue the conversation, asking you questions, following up, he could even pay the bill,
But in his mind, the deal is sealed, he won’t see you again.
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Example from real life
—MrGreggle said on thoughtcatalog.com that
We didn’t hit it off as well as she thinks. If I’m with a girl and concluded that I’m not into her I’ll often prod her and ask her lots of questions and followups about herself and she’ll enjoy talking about herself. Most people do. I do it to get through the awkwardness and keep the conversation going, but usually, I’ve checked out and it’s a low-effort way to make it through the night”
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#2. He concluded he was not into you at the end of the date or after the date.
If a man acted like he was totally into you throughout the date then ghosted you, it probably is the case of a man whose dating strategy is to pretend he is having an amazing date to see what comes out of you, then he will make up his mind at the end of the date or after the date.
He makes you comfortable, helping feel at ease and somehow put your guards down, but on the other hand, his guards are not down.
So while you are giving it your all because you feel you have amazing chemistry, he is faking it, unfortunately.
It’s a shorter and very condensed version of Love bombing, applied on one date only.
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I hope this post alleviates some of the confusion in your mind and if you don’t want this to happen again and want to master the attraction game, you can check out this program here.
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It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need for you.
You will be better equipped after the program to create the loving and secure relationship of your dreams whether you are currently single trying to date men or already in a relationship.
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Thanks for reading this post,
You missed the Mark entirely. I was seeing a man, after an intimate evening he ghosted me for 6 weeks. Reason he was so into me that he scared himself. Gun shy. It took him several weeks to sort out his emotions and he needed that time. He slowly made inroads again and we are now seeing each other regularly.
Thanks Dale for your comment. and let me first tell you I am very happy to know that it’s working out for you and would love for you to share an update or any tips for the other readers. but as you may know, a post cannot cover all situations and this one in particular only covers the case of someone not coming back. Your story is great insight because it gets to show that men can come back once they sort out their emotions. Thanks again for reading the post. xoxo litta