One of the best things about living in The 21st Century is text messaging.
We’re able to talk to friends, family, and colleagues, at any time of the day.
Communication is quite literally at our fingertips.
There’s no doubt that texting has also made a huge difference in the way we date.
Texting can be a great tool to create attraction with a love interest, as long as you use it correctly.
Here are some simple tricks to keep things hot with your beau through text.
DO: KEEP THE CONVERSATION SIMPLE
There are some conversation topics that should be saved for in-person or over the phone, such as long stories or deep/emotional topics.
Texting is great in-between, but it’s not the best method for building a deep connection.
If you’re wondering whether or not to discuss something over text, consider how much better the conversation would be if you could hear their tone of voice or make eye contact.
If there’s something you’d rather discuss in person, build the anticipation over text.
For example: “I can’t wait to see you Saturday and tell you all about the party I went to”.
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DON’T: TEXT THEM ALL DAY
Texting should be used periodically to check-in and plan dates.
When you have a crush or new love interest, there’s so much you’ll want to know about them.
The infatuation stage makes us want to talk to them 24/7. But, there’s definitely such a thing as being too available.
Let them be excited about the next time they see you and ensure you still have things to talk about on your dates!
DO: TEXT WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL
Is there anything more attractive than keeping your word?
When you’re dating someone new, you build trust by reaching out when you say you will.
If your schedule is busy, then don’t make promises you can’t keep.
Rather than committing to a specific time, be more general with what they can expect.
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DONT: PLAY MIND GAMES
Sometimes the dating advice out there can resemble manipulation tactics.
Avoid toxic dating culture by not playing mind games.
This can include intentionally ignore texts, waiting long hours to respond, or using one-worded answers.
Unless you are legitimately preoccupied, engage in a meaningful way.
Using mind games and manipulation may trigger a response, but it’s not a sustainable way to create and maintain attraction.
DO: TEXT FIRST
If you want to talk to them, just text them!
There are no rules about who needs to reach out first.
In fact, texting them first shows a level of confidence that’s undeniably hot. Text to say “hi”, ask about their day, or let them know you’ve been thinking about them.
And then wait to see if they answer. If they engage with you, keep doing what you are doing.
If they never text you first, you might want to consider that.
But, otherwise, keep a balance!
DON’T: DOUBLE TEXT
We’ve all been there.
You text the person you’re dating and they take a little bit too long to respond.
Your mind starts to wander. Are they ignoring me? Did their phone die? Maybe the text never got delivered?
So, you decide to send a follow-up jussssst in case! But, chances are, they’re just busy.
If someone wants to respond, they will. They may just need a little bit more time.
If you reach out again before they have a chance to respond, it sends a signal that you’re worried and/or feeling insecure.
Patience is key.
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DO: USE AUTOCORRECT
Just because texting is quick and easy, it doesn’t mean you should skimp on the spelling and grammar!
We’ve come a long way since flip phones, so spelling and grammar should be a breeze!
You don’t have to use MLA format or cite sources, just try to show some effort in your messages.
One of the best texting hacks is to use talk-to-text.
Talk directly into your phone, and it will spell out all the words for you.
Don’t forget, you can also set up autocorrect in your settings!
DON’T: OVER-ANALYZE
Texting is quick, instant communication, and that’s great.
But, not being able to hear someone’s tone of voice can cause you to over-think and spiral.
We’ve all analyzed short answers or the use of a period vs an exclamation point. It’s really silly when you think about it.
There is no possible way that you can tell someone’s mood or intention through a text message.
Stop the mental gymnastics, and take a breather!
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DO: SEND PICS!
Whether it’s a selfie, a delicious meal you’ve cooked, or your cute dog, send pics!
Sending pictures is a great non-verbal way to keep the conversations more personal and meaningful.
It also creates proximity and intimacy by sharing different aspects of your daily life in a fun and creative way.
You can even do this by sending a meme that made you think of them.
DON’T: FEEL PRESSURE TO RESPOND RIGHT AWAY
The beauty of a text is that you have time to respond.
If you’re not feeling particularly witty or you’re feeling put on the spot by a question, put the phone down and take some time to think about it.
Just remember not to take too long, because you won’t have the same time to respond when you’re with them in person or talking on the phone.
The most important thing, when trying to create attraction, is to show the real you. Texting can sometimes cause us to speak in a voice that isn’t ours or be bolder than we would be in person.
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