What makes you look desperate to a guy and how to show interest in a guy without looking desperate?
You probably ask yourself the question because…
you know or you were told it’s unattractive
or,
you were desperate before and it drove away from the guys you liked.
Am I correct?
Don’t worry, as someone who came across desperate while being completely unaware of it,
I realized upon reflecting on my past experiences that the signs that make you look desperate to a guy are quite specific.
So when you read this post, you will know exactly what to avoid.
When they say that men can smell desperation miles away, they mean that men are tuned in to these signs.
And it all happens subconsciously first before it becomes conscious.
On a high level, being desperate translates into doing things in order to feel something in return.
You are basically chasing a reaction in return for what you do and you don’t do or say things organically.
For example, you don’t choose to talk about a subject because you are genuinely interested but you are doing it because you want the guy to like you because it will make you feel better about yourself.
You offer to meet him up in his area not because it’s convenient for you as well but because you really don’t want him to say no.
You want to see him all the time not because you just want to see him but because you are afraid he might be seeing someone else already and you want to make sure he does not forget about you.
Even when you try to hide it or suppress it, when you are doing things so that you can feel a certain way, it affects the energy that is carried in your words and actions and so affects the way people perceive you.
They can feel that behind the mask is someone who is anxious, insecure, and lacks confidence in themselves.
o can you still show interest without looking desperate?
Absolutely, by simply being yourself and avoiding the following signs to NOT look desperate.
1. Don’t have an agenda
This is the first thing you should avoid in order to not look desperate is not having an agenda.
Having an agenda translates into having a goal in mind and expecting a certain outcome while dating someone.
You should really go out and date with the mindset of curiosity and fun and absolutely no attachment to any outcome however hard this might be, especially if you have been single for a long time.
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2. Don’t be too available
Being available does not necessarily mean you are desperate, but it comes across as though you are desperate.
So the first thing to do is to become aware of your behavior and other people’s perception of it and realize they are not always the same and second get busy with your life by having your hobbies and pursuing your interests and hanging out with your friends.
You become much more interesting and thus attractive to men when you have an enriched life.
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3. Don’t be too eager to talk all the time
It’s like you have something to prove.
4. Don’t text too much
while texting has undeniably become the main communication tool that people use in dating through apps as well as phone texting.
But sending 10 texts a day is to be avoided because it makes you look needy.
5. Don’t pursue him and let him pursue you
As it comes across as too aggressive.
Avoid things like sending many messages while he did not even respond to the first one. Let him take the time to starts chasing you at his own pace.
In general, men don’t like to be rushed into relationships.
6. Don’t be too impatient
Impatience is another strong sign of desperation and having an agenda that you can’t wait to materialize.
For example, avoid insisting to see him when he says he is not available and can only see you in two weeks.
Don’t try to rush into going to his place or introducing him to your friends too quickly… you would know you are being too impatient.
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7. Keep high standards
Men will test your standards very early on by checking how low they can go, and the lowest they can get away with, the lower your perceived value.
8. Don’t be needy
I was guilty of that so much in my dating days and I can tell you the one that helped me control my neediness was that I took full responsibility for them and I would always look to meet my needs either by myself or outside of your relationship.
So if you are feeling lonely, go hang out with friends. You need someone to talk to, ask a friend or family member.
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9. Don’t You post way too much on social media
Especially sad quotes. Just think of your own reaction when you scroll the social media and you see someone posting a sad quote, you probably think at that moment “you must be feeling sad, lonely…fill in the blank with whatever the quote is about” and now imagine this new guy you are dating who comes across your quote…
10. Value yourself above the relationship
Last but certainly not least, you need to have strong self-esteem if you want to attract a healthy relationship.
So you need to value yourself and let go of people and relationships that contradict your value so that you leave the space for the right person to come along.
Remember when you say no to something, you are indirectly saying yes to something else, even when you don’t know yet what it might be.
Now,
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It will take you deep into a man’s mind and psychology and will demystify what men really want and need for you.
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Thanks for reading this post,