Women love confident men, but did you know that men also love confident women?
Yes, confidence is attractive irrespective of gender, but confidence in women is not the same as confidence in men.
Women’s confidence emanates from a different energy than men’s confidence.
Women’s confidence comes from feminine energy while men’s confidence comes from masculine energy.
They are energetically complementary which is why they attract one another.
So the first thing to bear in mind is that a women’s confidence originates from their feminine energy when it comes to dating and relationships.
It has nothing to do with being a strong, independent, go-getter, high achieving woman.
These would be characteristics of a confident woman when it comes to work and business.
You can be a strong independent woman yet have little confidence when it comes to your romantic life.
Similarly, you can be a woman with limited ambitions yet still exude high confidence with men.
I witnessed throughout my life many examples of high achieving women who were not quite confident in their ability to attract and keep a man and the number of very confident women who seemingly did not have much going on for themselves.
Now I want to say that true confidence also does not come from looks and physical attractiveness alone, otherwise you would not have all these supermodels who reveal how insecure they really are on more than one occasion.
In fact, any confidence that is based on looks and physical attractiveness is very vulnerable, easily shakeable, and prone to destruction.
Now, let’s define what confidence is for women when it comes to dating and relationships?
A confident woman is a woman who has a deep sense of her high value as a woman, just by being, by existing.
She wholeheartedly believes that she is a catch and that other’s opinions or feedback that contradicts this belief is of no value.
She does not seek a reflection of herself in other people’s eyes because she simply knows who she is and what she is worth.
How does a woman develop a high level of confidence and faith in her high value?
There is an actual secret to becoming a confident woman.
A woman is not just born confident, a woman becomes confident with time, experience and having the right mindset.
Are you still with me?
A confident woman has the mindset of eliminating neediness.
You see, since feminine confidence is an unshakable belief in her self-worth, this belief cannot come from external sources, which are very uncertain and unreliable by nature.
In other words, a confident woman knows her worth and does not need this belief to be reinforced and validated by external sources.
So, in order to build feminine confidence, a woman must eliminate neediness.
And that is ladies and gentlemen, the secret to feminine confidence, that is the absence of neediness.
Now, if you want to learn how to eliminate neediness and build up your confidence in dating and relationships, pay close attention to the following 6 characteristics of confident women that enabled them to stop being needy.
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1. She faced her fears and insecurities and overcame them.
A high value woman is not a woman who never had fears and insecurities.
When it comes to their romantic lives, all women experience at some point fears and insecurities( and not just in the romantic aspect of their life).
These fear range from not getting a romantic partner, or not being good enough for the partner they want, to fear of rejection or abandonment.
The thing is that a confident woman has faced all these fears and insecurities.
She first became aware of these fears, then she accepted that these fears were there and made the decision to crush them one by one.
She then realized that fear was only a construct of her mind, an illusion and confidence came on another side of doing that inner work.
Here are examples of love-related fears that women experience and the answer to every one of them that will enable you to crush your fears.
I am never going to find another person who loves me and understands me
( answer: I am okay with or without another person to love me and understand me, I am my own source of love, and the right person will come along and recognize that and will add to that love).
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He doesn’t really care about me
( answer: I have no rational reason to think he does not care about me, but he doesn’t, I will move on because I only invest my time and energy on people who care for me).
He is too good for me.
( answer: what makes me think or believe that? What is a too good person anyway? if he wants to be with me, that means I am good enough and that’s all I need to know).
He will leave me if I don’t keep him interested
( answer: I don’t “need” to keep someone interested, I only do me and the right person will be interested in me as a person just being me and not doing any extra).
He will leave me if he meets more beautiful than me.
( answer: beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if he does not see my beauty and notices someone else’s beauty, he is more than welcome to go).
I am better off on my own.
( answer: this is just a defense mechanism and my subconscious trying to protect me from steering an old wound of abandonment or rejection, I am neither better off nor worst off on my own, I am right where I am supposed to be and doing what I am supposed to do).
I don’t think he will like me, I am not likable
As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you.
I should stay on my guards all the time, I can get hurt if I become too vulnerable.
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2. She is not perfect, but she loves herself despite and because of her imperfections.
A Confident woman has an unconditional true love for herself.
She knows that nobody is perfect and so she never strives for perfection but rather she accepts and gets in peace with her imperfections.
She also sees that it’s her imperfections that make her a unique individual so she embraces them to the point of falling in love with them.
She is never ashamed of her body or parts of it and she ignores any comments that would suggest that she should be any different.
Of course, she takes care of herself and does not let herself go, but doing so is like putting makeup on an already beautiful face.
Her imperfections are not only part of her but it’s what makes her who she is.
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3. Her main source of validation is herself.
A confident woman has her main source of security as herself and so she does not seek or need external validation to feel safe and secure.
She is self-assured and confident in her worth despite and regardless of people’s feedback, opinion, and reactions to her.
She has an internal point of reference that she trusts and relies on to guide her and help her navigate the world.
That is why she does not do anything to be “accepted” or “liked” or to “fit in”.
When it comes to love, a confident woman is not looking at men’s endorsement or validation every time she encounters a man.
Nor does she question her worth if she is not “validated” by a man.
she understands that she will not be liked by everyone, and no one does really and so she expects rejection from some men until she meets someone who will see her value.
4. She is self-forgiving.
Confident women don’t dwell on past mistakes and don’t spend too much time tormenting their minds with their past decisions.
When they make a mistake, they forgive themselves.
What’s done is done and they fully accept what it is, learn the lesson as they are supposed to, and grow stronger and wiser from that experience.
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5. She does not compare herself to others.
Confident women don’t give in to envy or comparison with others, especially with other women.
She just recognizes that every person is unique, has unique circumstances, unique life experiences, has been gifted unique attributes but was also given some curses.
A confident woman traces her own path and does not look around while she is walking her destiny.
6. She has a solidly grounded tribe she relies on.
Despite not needing any validation, confident women surround themselves with people who love them and support them.
They recognize that being loved and loving others is a basic human need that is different from validation.
Love comes from a place of security and abundance whereas validation comes from a place of lack and fear.
So confident women have built over the years a strong and well-grounded support system that they rely on for extra security and knowing that other people have their back in case they fall.
Now,
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Thanks for reading this post,